How to teach children to control anger

When a child is angry, the immediate reaction is to hit. This desire is very natural, but if the child is to live in society, something needs to be done to overcome it. You can teach your child to understand and control the three "negative" emotions. Here we inform you, how to teach children to control anger.

The ideal way to control anger is to maintain balance. If you don't like something, you need to say it - confidently, loudly and as early as possible until you feel like using violence. Anger and violence are not the same thing. A person is violent if he doesn't know how to control his actions.

Adults know how to contain anger in such a way that its manifestation is palpable, but does not hurt or offend others. If a child rarely gets angry, he or she may be perceived as weak and will be told to or used by other children. If he went on a rampage too often, he would be hated and branded a warrior. You have to show the kids how to achieve perfect balance - this will take years of practice, starting at the age of one. 

Determine your children's level of "emotional literacy" ...

How does a child show anger

1. None - (0)

2. Fall into hysterics, exhibiting aggression and physical violence - (1)

3. Calmly, verbally confidently explain reasons dissatisfaction - (2)

How a child shows sadness

1. None - (0)

2. Depression or falling into anger - (1)

3. Frankly admits that he is sad, cries, wants to hug - (2)

How a child shows fear

1. None - (0)

2. Shutting down or attacking, swearing - (1)

3. Speaking out loud and not afraid to talk about it - (2)

How a child shows joy

1. Impossible - (0)

2. Behaving stupidly, recklessly, excited - (1)

3. Acknowledges having fun, singing, dancing, hugging, laughing - (2)

Results

Add the points and determine the level of "emotional literacy" (maximum 8). If the indicator is 6 or less, there is work to be done.

Now you can see what emotions your child is experiencing. Encourage the child, let him speak, admit how he really feels and why. Young children can draw or explain what is in their soul with the help of "funny" and "sad" faces. Show tenderness and care. Perhaps you will begin to better understand your feelings and show your children by examples how to be true to yourself and find safe ways to express your emotions.

How to help your child deal with anger.

1. Explain that it is important to verbally express anger, not forcefully. Children should say out loud that they are angry and explain why.
2. Help your child find the connection between emotions and their causes. Talk to him, find out what triggered the angry outburst. Young children sometimes need help "remembering" what went wrong. 
3. Your child should know that you are ready to listen to her and take her feelings into account (but this does not mean that things will be the way she wants them to). "I understand why you are angry. I didn't listen to you. But now I do." Or: "I know you're tired, and so am I. But what can we do?"
4. It is clear that violence is not an acceptable way to express anger. Immediately stop all efforts, after each fight, analyze the negative consequences and insist that the child correct his mistakes (that is, express his dissatisfaction aloud, in words).
5. Children should say what they WANT. Very often children start moaning and complaining that they DO NOT want something. Arrange it in a positive way.
6. Be an example to your children. In difficult situations, your child is more likely to do what you DO than what you SAY. You have to be a role model for him. If you are angry, say it out loud. Don't let yourself get really aroused - get angry, but be smart and wise. The child must understand that his parents are also made of flesh and blood.

You can be very angry with your children, but not embarrass them or violent. Remember to express emotions directly. Your child may take a few moments to learn how to handle anger. Rejoice if he shows at least some change in this direction - he doesn't try to hit the other kids or you, but says loudly: "I'm mad!" This is indeed a difficult job and requires patience.

I hope this article is useful :)

Share this post