How to recover correctly after birth ?
Tuesday, May 23, 2017
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Here comes this long-awaited day - your baby was born. Finally you're at home, happy and full of energy. The husband wears you in his arms, and your little one is cute or snoozes sweetly alongside.
So imagine the return from the hospital most of the expectant mothers who are waiting for their first-born.
But in real life, we often see a slightly different picture: a crumb cries, crying about some discomfort, mother is confused and embarrassed, and Dad is looking for a way to slip out of the house, even into the store.
Stress, anxiety, worry, quarrels, anxiety - this is absolutely not mandatory program of the first months of life with the baby. However, you can avoid such troubles only if you are ready for the appearance of a child, have basic knowledge of the newborn and its needs, are ready psychologically and emotionally to the fact that you will have a completely new experience. Beautiful and fascinating, but new!
All this can be learned, because it is not in vain that we are given nine months to prepare for such an important event.
1. Prepare for the appearance of the baby in advance.
Many parents do not understand that baths and all dowries are toys and fun for parents themselves, most of which may not be useful at all. The child needs something completely different - attention to his needs, the ability to help him calm down, the desire to show his love and care.
No matter how the first weeks with the crumb did not pass, the main thing that you should be able to do is to keep calm. Do not scold yourself if something went wrong. Remind yourself that you already did a lot already. While you and your spouse are still unable to do something, but you have time to learn how to calm your baby and understand the reasons for his discontent. Mark the first victory, thank yourself and the baby for the clues. Watch the baby and enjoy the results of your work: the baby will calm down, being in your arms, lying on your stomach or just listening to your voice. All these are signs that the connection between the parents and the crumb is established, which means everything will be fine.
2. Do not look for answers on the forums
Forums are a spoiled phone. Moms distribute advice to each other, based on personal experience and not considering that the situation may be similar, but not the same. In addition, a lot of circumstances, as a rule, elude discussion. But this does not stop the participants and they manage to put diagnoses and diagnoses to each other and to other children, and even recommend medicines.
I often tell pregnant girls that they do not go to forums at all, otherwise they will certainly find something that they will not sleep from. Involuntarily, the hero of the story of Jerome K. Jerome Troy is remembered in the boat, not counting the dog : "Having read the medical guide, he found everything except the maternal fever."
Here with the forums exactly the same thing, only worse.
3. Learn to look after the baby right in the hospital
Many mothers refer to the first days in the hospital as a rest after giving birth, completely unaware that in a couple of days they will remain with a crumb one on one. A maternity home is a suitable place to start learning to be a mother.
Ask the doctor to show how to hold, wash, feed the baby. How to wear a diaper, clothes. Try it yourself to make sure that the skill is fixed.
Rely on your knowledge, expert advice and professional advice
Mom, grandmother, mother-in-law, girlfriends - all these thousand times wonderful and caring people, unfortunately, not professionals. Even if they "have already grown two and nothing!". They rely solely on their experience, and this is their story. Not yours!
You are an adult, mature woman, and it's not about age. You have already done a lot: you endured and gave birth to your baby, and this baby came to your family, so that you would surround him with love, care and education.
Do not be shy to stop people whose comments or advice upsets you. Nutrition, development and health of the baby depend on your state and emotions. If the environment does not understand this, move away from it.
Remember, helpers do not need a baby! The kid needs a mom. All the others now revolve around you and care for you, helping to recover, to feel the baby, to meet his needs, to develop a certain regime, to have enough sleep, to eat quietly and even to do something for the soul.
If you have any questions, please contact specialists and professionals. After all, many councils of ordinary people are able to bring mom to depression, and popular methods of treating even minor diseases are simply dangerous for a child's life.
4. Eliminate the factors of additional stress for the baby
An aggrieved mother, conflicts in the family, the absence of a worked out routine - all this is an additional stress for the crumbs, and for the mother and the whole family.
Therefore, the first thing you need to do is to draw up a schedule and a certain sequence of actions for each day. Then each member of the family will approximately understand what and when it happens and when there is time to rest, and when its help is needed. Yes, periodically something will not go according to plan. But basically everything will be the way you organized. This will help not only you, but also your loved ones to feel more confident and calmer in the new conditions.
It is also important to understand that kids, in addition to food, need energy communication, attention, warmth and contact. They do not like it when mom feeds them and talks to someone or "goes to the TV." Imagine, your husband hugs, while reading reports on work, looking at the clock, on the TV, talking on the phone. And so constantly. How will you feel?
Be next to your baby, admire, praise and support. And then the moment when happiness and harmony will permanently settle in your new family, will come in reality, and not in fantasies. You can do it!
Read also:
How to becoming a happy Mother ?
So imagine the return from the hospital most of the expectant mothers who are waiting for their first-born.
But in real life, we often see a slightly different picture: a crumb cries, crying about some discomfort, mother is confused and embarrassed, and Dad is looking for a way to slip out of the house, even into the store.
Stress, anxiety, worry, quarrels, anxiety - this is absolutely not mandatory program of the first months of life with the baby. However, you can avoid such troubles only if you are ready for the appearance of a child, have basic knowledge of the newborn and its needs, are ready psychologically and emotionally to the fact that you will have a completely new experience. Beautiful and fascinating, but new!
All this can be learned, because it is not in vain that we are given nine months to prepare for such an important event.
1. Prepare for the appearance of the baby in advance.
Many parents do not understand that baths and all dowries are toys and fun for parents themselves, most of which may not be useful at all. The child needs something completely different - attention to his needs, the ability to help him calm down, the desire to show his love and care.
No matter how the first weeks with the crumb did not pass, the main thing that you should be able to do is to keep calm. Do not scold yourself if something went wrong. Remind yourself that you already did a lot already. While you and your spouse are still unable to do something, but you have time to learn how to calm your baby and understand the reasons for his discontent. Mark the first victory, thank yourself and the baby for the clues. Watch the baby and enjoy the results of your work: the baby will calm down, being in your arms, lying on your stomach or just listening to your voice. All these are signs that the connection between the parents and the crumb is established, which means everything will be fine.
2. Do not look for answers on the forums
Forums are a spoiled phone. Moms distribute advice to each other, based on personal experience and not considering that the situation may be similar, but not the same. In addition, a lot of circumstances, as a rule, elude discussion. But this does not stop the participants and they manage to put diagnoses and diagnoses to each other and to other children, and even recommend medicines.
I often tell pregnant girls that they do not go to forums at all, otherwise they will certainly find something that they will not sleep from. Involuntarily, the hero of the story of Jerome K. Jerome Troy is remembered in the boat, not counting the dog : "Having read the medical guide, he found everything except the maternal fever."
Here with the forums exactly the same thing, only worse.
3. Learn to look after the baby right in the hospital
Many mothers refer to the first days in the hospital as a rest after giving birth, completely unaware that in a couple of days they will remain with a crumb one on one. A maternity home is a suitable place to start learning to be a mother.
Ask the doctor to show how to hold, wash, feed the baby. How to wear a diaper, clothes. Try it yourself to make sure that the skill is fixed.
Rely on your knowledge, expert advice and professional advice
Mom, grandmother, mother-in-law, girlfriends - all these thousand times wonderful and caring people, unfortunately, not professionals. Even if they "have already grown two and nothing!". They rely solely on their experience, and this is their story. Not yours!
You are an adult, mature woman, and it's not about age. You have already done a lot: you endured and gave birth to your baby, and this baby came to your family, so that you would surround him with love, care and education.
Do not be shy to stop people whose comments or advice upsets you. Nutrition, development and health of the baby depend on your state and emotions. If the environment does not understand this, move away from it.
Remember, helpers do not need a baby! The kid needs a mom. All the others now revolve around you and care for you, helping to recover, to feel the baby, to meet his needs, to develop a certain regime, to have enough sleep, to eat quietly and even to do something for the soul.
If you have any questions, please contact specialists and professionals. After all, many councils of ordinary people are able to bring mom to depression, and popular methods of treating even minor diseases are simply dangerous for a child's life.
4. Eliminate the factors of additional stress for the baby
An aggrieved mother, conflicts in the family, the absence of a worked out routine - all this is an additional stress for the crumbs, and for the mother and the whole family.
Therefore, the first thing you need to do is to draw up a schedule and a certain sequence of actions for each day. Then each member of the family will approximately understand what and when it happens and when there is time to rest, and when its help is needed. Yes, periodically something will not go according to plan. But basically everything will be the way you organized. This will help not only you, but also your loved ones to feel more confident and calmer in the new conditions.
It is also important to understand that kids, in addition to food, need energy communication, attention, warmth and contact. They do not like it when mom feeds them and talks to someone or "goes to the TV." Imagine, your husband hugs, while reading reports on work, looking at the clock, on the TV, talking on the phone. And so constantly. How will you feel?
Be next to your baby, admire, praise and support. And then the moment when happiness and harmony will permanently settle in your new family, will come in reality, and not in fantasies. You can do it!
Read also:
How to becoming a happy Mother ?
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